Mother's Day can be unbearably difficult if you've not got a mum to celebrate with. It can also be painful if you've not got children. The reminder of 'motherness' can reopen old wounds and cause difficult memories to resurface.
I lost my mum in 1993, before I was an adult, before I had kids of my own to share with her. She didn't know me as a grown-up and she missed out on being a grandmother. Sometimes that feels very unfair and on Mother's Day, the feeling of hollow homesickness that comes with grief comes into sharp focus. The loss of my mother is something I feel every day, but never more so than on Mother's Day.
I'm glad for those lucky enough to still have a mum they can take shopping, for afternoon tea, for spa days. I'm glad for children who have grandmothers who spoil them, read to them, go to see them perform in shows. And for me, that's how I deal with it.
Gratitide for the time I spent with my mum - what she taught me, what she gave me, how the experience of having her in my life has made me me.
Gratitude for my two healthy children, gratitude that they were the two children I carried to term.
By realising how fortunate I am, it lessens the ache of grief. By not dwelling on loss, I can appreciate the things I have. By acknowledging my feelings, I can feel them...then let them go.
Whatever your circumstances, I sincerely wish you the happiest of Mother's Days - whatever that means for you.
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